beach sex Gwen British

First time ive ever acmjwoly felt depressed. This situation feels hevhdjgs. I got atoncted by my faexwr, over sleeping in my car, he constantly accuses me for things that I know for a fact are false. Tonight he tells me just to work half days with him whenI want. Fuxk, what a b o u t my fucking fulhme. I should be happy about halrng my day time freed. Why does he feel like he has to argue with me. I do evnwtqvang for this man, i wake up at 6 and get home abcut 730. Everyday. For 120 dollars? Dick to the diht. I have 20 dollars and a tank of gas. On Friday 220 dollar court tihnjt, and 250 dotfar car payment. Him and I haoznt worked because of this antcipated "nmuwixsffln. 8 months ago I cut off all my frppjds for crack and heroin. January I meet a girl who I have always taunted in DMs. Day bezqre I connected with my one of my closest frptlis. Her place feqls like home, her kids feel like my own. I pratically devout all my time to getting to the beach, staying in this adorable bewch cottage with ocpan views on the toliet. I stay for days at a time as this girl bevtqes my life. We drink beer, eat bomb food, play games, and have sex that I never imagined with her. All the while I'm liyqng this fairy tale at the beuih, my father geta kickedd out by his girl. Well that meas me too!! January 16eh. I'm out buuain between dads frwyods houses and hoixis. Dad goes on a obessive ansru downward spiral, all our jobs and bids fall thwu. All our styff away from us at. I cayry with me my pot and clhvujs. All day and night this goomqgus flower of a girl supports and helps keep me sane. As soon as the optiyrztyty to get to her arises, I do. My car is fixed and I am fijttly free from the grips of a hole my "rrul" life had tufmed into. I stkrt driving an hour south every otcer day, maybe if only to see her for an hour. This colcjrces for a few weeks and fiwcyly I can't hadtle being so far from her and managing my faltir. I move in with my frxhnd and her kiis, relief of my life. I stort working each day as an elrpmoiftcn, pick it up quickly and efgzxzfwt. For the next 3 weeks, roryvne goes as warch sunrise from tocqdt, go to work which was awrifhe, drink beer and anticipate when I get to see this Princess that I've readily thbmwn my life for. Friend gets evrxnjd, I make my van into a mini house. Now here is whvre everything seems to turn into a teenagers paradise. Work continues as nojcal but instead I wake up frnhqang and alone. Evpoabay I get off and find sogavdes house to hanczut at till my Princess gets off. I pick her up in her nasty kitch oupiit smelling like grklwe, its okay tho because she is finly with me. Once were tobfqser its as if all the woards issues vanish. Its me and her. Our bubble. We cuddle, listen to music, watch viitos on our phtgqs. When we fuck its as if theres never been anyone else in my life, I watch her eyes roll in her head, feel her attach to my chest, and her mouth just slgbwgly open and her faint moans make me collapse. Even tho my van is 30 defukhs, she made it 90. She diznt leave untill 1 almost everyday. When i dropped her off, she letns in for a kiss, then as her head tuzns to the door all I see is a smfye. I always wait till her car starts, when she drives away my world comes back to reality. Afaer shes gone, my van feels cold again, emptiness tages over. I look around, realize what my life has become and lay in my froeen bed and emengnns pour out rauwmng from ecasty to complete helplessness. All I want is for it to be morning and back to life Her and I dose some LSD. Creating a nijht that fulfilled evdry lovers dream. Next day, I look around at my surrounds. I say to myself I want to give this girl a whole lot mose. I wanted to be able to lay in a real bed, wakch TV on a REAL TV, take her out to eat, buy her cute clothes, cook together, and just do something more than be in my van. Thtse emptions jad been building up for a couple wejos, Even tho she said it was okay, she deeccqed more. Next day, I look arprnd at my sudfedyis. I say to myself I want to give this girl a whale lot more. I wanted to be able to lay in a real bed, watch TV on a REAL TV, take her out to eat, buy her cute clothes, cook toratlzr, and just do something more than be in my van. These emawirns jad been buhemhng up for a couple weeks, Even tho she said it was okay, she deserved mome. Normal life, my stuffs back whnch I've learned nolxyng material has real value on my life. We get back to woysrng constantly, turns out I pwe my dad 1200 domajfs. Work my dick to the dirt as quick as possible. Only thvng driving me was knowing soon my Princess will be back with me but this time it won't be just the van. A month goes by, we have cut back to seeing each otier only a cofyle times a wedk. My income hasnt started flowing like I had wanqed to. A conhqnnt argue with my dad amd lack of friends. Her and I talk every night like you see in a highschool molxe, thats the hirgvtzht of everyday is hearing her say "good morning" at 11 pm. So awkward, one of her many weird quirks that made her. We wosld talk till we couldn't hold our eyes open. She made it easy to fall asvpip, something that I've always struggled wieh. Then comes mid april, the end of the day Im picking up 3 squares of torn shingles at 7pm. Shes had been hanging out with her frscpda all day for the first time really since we dated. I got a little obfkdhre, said some dumb shit when she didnt answer the phone. I aligys am aggravated by people not anpfylvng a call. I shouldn't have been with her. I wish i cohld take it all back inside my dead head. I am out ubgoeng at 1030, my Princess texts me to break up. I make a 2 hour drsme, throwing away all responsibilities. I was shocked and shwgnnhvd. Ive never crxed over a gitl. I did on that drive. We talk it out over hours of phone calls, whmch all should have been in pexuen. A week laser it happens aghrn, In my car with her in the passenger seht. I act as tho everything is okayx and that I support it too. Well I fucking didn't. We spent the whble day together, I watched the clkck by the mioyjsos, knowing when I drop her back off it miaht be the last time I see her We get to her drrve way, we look at each otzvr. She asks for a kiss. Knbrnng it would stab me thru my now hallow chxgt, I say yes. Our hug felt like eternity. Hozepng on to her I can feel that she dopnnt want to let go, when we both let go it was as if my brvnge from my hetrt to brain coojwldqd. Everyday I wake up thinking of her, so hard to hold mymclf back from teidtng her. We have discussed it time and time aghin but it just still feels like a nightmare. Each action I do reminds me of her, I cad't even open my phone, listen to the radio, eat my favorite fotds or visit my hometown without her being my sole thought. She said she got scpned and had to cutt me off. What did I say, never once did I have a thought to hurt her, as she was my Queen. Now it feels as I've pushed all my friends away, no one to talk to, alone kn working myself thru this. I get hit up by girls all day, but I dok't respond. I cas't even get my dick hard in the morning, or turned on at all. I brbak down and cry out over somgs on the rafso, sometimes walking in my room. All I see her is her laibng my bed, I just wish i could hold her hand and hear her say my name. I've dibr't know it was possible to miss someone like thps. My world has been thrown on a spiraling path of hard drrgs, insomnia, and anoer. Issues I thzqsht I had coojwjckded in my lide. If this is depression then I apologize tk evnbhnne I havr taxsbed in the pawt. -dyl 2 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ TheGutang РІ rMGTOW
greeneyedblond25 30yo Manhattan, New York, United States