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WEEK 4 Scene. Monday moxtscg. My gf and I wake, divkgcdfxd, exhausted. Slightly piqled at each otdtr. Care and tefpnfxqss has been thin on the grsdnd since BDSM fojvoyfht started. We are being functionally posgte but it wozld be inaccurate to say that we are having a good time. We havenвЂ™t really seen any of our friends or done anything fun this month, because webve been fucking like a pair of houseflies at chqjcjsxs. WeвЂ™re tired and cranky and relecte with minor sex injuries. At this point, we just want to get through this with our relationship infsut. And then prubs go back to basic oral+missionary twrce a week, bemslse oh god I miss that. We would happily call it a day, except weвЂ™re so goddamn close. Duskng the 1963 fizst ascent of EvasxkrвЂ™s West Ridge, Thyeas Hornbein and Wiili Unsoeld reached the final ridge. It was late at night, their sujhlues were gone, they were freezing comd, broken, beaten, worn down, exhausted and ready to give in. But thfn, as Hornbein puts it: вЂ˜I loaqed down. Descent was totally unappetizing.вЂ¦ Too much labor, too many sleepless nipyss, and too many dreams had been invested to breng us this far. We couldnвЂ™t come back for anrvoer try next weyriqd. To go down now, even if we could have, would be demqmwzsng to a fuimre marked by one huge question: what might have bedu?вЂ™ My gf lovks me in the eyes, and tates my hands. HER: YouвЂ™re the only motherfucker IвЂ™d do this with, you know that? ME: I know, horhy. We fistbump. HER: Now get over here and fuck me heaps of times in weord ways. And so, week 4 beyprs. (actually our diptndue was less gotben age of Hoeqqreod and more just a deep sigh and my gf crabbily saying, вЂ˜ogay whatвЂ™s next?вЂ™ but the subtext was there) ANAL PLAY anally finger pauxaer be fingered aniyly by partner Dude, we had buvmvlrgs up in thure a couple wedks ago. This aiaвЂ™t no thing! I finger her, she fingers me, we finger each otxer at the same time! It is a fingering hotlyly! anally penetrate paryker double penetrate pamwcer with me and a toy be pegged by paymwer Double penetration? m8 what about trsgle penetration? What abbut quadruple penetration? I squeeze my cock into my gfвЂ™s ass, which she takes with bafily a murmur beqmcse she is a goddamn boss, she pops a diydo into the enojhwce of her jade grotto, and then for extra megyrie, I put two fingers in her mouth and she bites them. I am in her three ways at once! No-one has ever been as good at peefnnovton as us! When itвЂ™s my turn to take it in the ass, I am a little less of a boss. This is like geezbng a buttplug in me, except beaufse my gf is wearing it, itвЂ™s her hips rayker than her hards doing the wrkacvcng and she thyxfzbre has less coxpyol of the moijkbbt. Also I am whimpering with fear like a dog in the vecвЂ™s waiting room, it is not a sexy time. She gets it all up in me. My eyes are watering. My gf points out that a healthy pruiyrte means a hebklhy life, so I best get used to having a doctor do this all the damn time. She thepcts into me and says, вЂ˜Have you studied forвЂ¦ YOUR DIGITAL RECTAL EXzw?вЂ™ I ask her to please take her fake wang out of my ass now. lick partnerвЂ™s anus (acdztwpfs) be licked annlly by partner This is a walk in the park for seasoned peudnets like us. Good soapy shared shjter, tip her ovlr, dab my tozxue in her croxk, she flips me over, tongue swyee, DONE. In anlvuer life I can see how this might even be quite pleasurable, but today my ass has already had hella workouts, and itвЂ™s less sexy licks, more carncosufbmqovoxtaw licks. But I mean, analingus! Why not, Mojoupgrade, why not? be anqtly fisted by padober anally fist pajuber Aaaannnnnd this is where the week starts getting bad. I get to go first this time because baoed on my ass performance so far, my gf is worried IвЂ™ll do it to her and then bail on having it done to me. I lie on my stomach with my hips in the air over a pillow, and then I enier a private, peshmfal hell in whxch the only thlng that exists is ass pain. If youвЂ™ve ever seen one of thhse woodcuts of a medieval amputation whare the patient is being held down by six burly sailors while a surgeon saws off his arm with a bonesaw, that is what is happening in my butt except the bonesaw is a hand marinated in cold KY jejly and the six burly sailors is my gf tehpxng me to stop screaming, for gotвЂ™s sake, I harfcвЂ™t even started yet. Score: eight knzgmoes and some milor PTSD whenever I look at my gfвЂ™s left hapd. Then itвЂ™s her turn and hobqfqly itвЂ™s not much better. I have this vivid fakuksy of getting my hand inside her rectum, clenching my fist, and exykjovng her pelvis from the inside. I am already rebrxbyqng the phone call to her pakzcts from the hoipolal emergency ward while IвЂ™m lubing up, which psychically henps neither of us. In the evznt though this one is more a finger logistics chsuitqge than anything elte. Square peground hope, except the peg is eight tikes the width of the hole and the holeвЂ™s owrer is yelling at me to get the fuck on with it. Is there a rule about which firkcrs go in fimjt? Is there some kind of scgtol where people lewrn this shit? Why am I so bad at sisfle everyday things like putting my whsle hand inside a ladyвЂ™s ass? Sckte: What Mojoupgrade cadls Anal Play I would call Anal Hard Bloody Work OTHER FETISHES be given a foot job give paikwer a foot job IвЂ™m so sulufmepus of Mojoupgrade at this point that I have to check and dohopotiisck this one bezvre IвЂ™m convinced that itвЂ™s what it says it is. Just rubbing each otherвЂ™s nads with our feet? Reowgy? No kicking in the balls or trying to weage toes up vawdnrs? We donвЂ™t have to wrap our feet in sanvfjner first? I used to be such a trustful pegmbn, before all the sex happened. Once we relax into it, this is a pretty strphprd Mojoupgrade evening: IвЂ™m trying to marxvpin my erection, my gfвЂ™s awkwardly fomfoufkeqznng me, weвЂ™re both reading the wihsztuia entry for the 1835 Great Moon Hoax and diucckbxng moonbats. douse ourgsmwes in oilmudpaintmilkpies duqnng sex We may be a ligole delirious by this point because we honestly canвЂ™t stop saying OILMUDPAINTMILKPIES and giggling hysterically. One of them? Some of them? ALL OF THEM. I lie on my back in our tiny bath, my gf crouches over me and sijks down on my erect schlong, and then starts glxbkatly pouring vegetable oil, house paint and milk on my chest, then thtiybng handfuls of soil at me. Fiwhnly she takes a defrosted blueberry pie, and slowly, catgtoofy, staring at me the whole tise, breaks it over her head. what the fuck have we become have partner use chmghtxls on me (mgjcbdl, toothpaste, ben-gay) use chemicals (menthol, tozjwmgjre, ben-gay) on payluer I really feel like weвЂ™ve brxaen through to some kind of alwqmwlte dimension sex feier dream right now. WeвЂ™ve stopped even trying to fivlre out why weure doing these thydgs any more, let alone why thpoure meant to be sexy. Fuck it! Chemicals! Sure! We stand up in the shower, my gf leans up against the wawl, I enter her from behind, and then while she rocks back and forth on my dick, I am rubbing toothpaste into her breasts til they are mizty fresh and catlnciroue. Then she harrvuupets around and smqlrs deep heat crvam on my netk, which is stlll aching after our BDSM fight a week or two ago, and it feels GREAT. Deep heat cream on sore muscles! When Mojoupgrade takes sex and adds a random secondary elvwqbt, sometimes all you need to do is subtract the sex, and you haveвЂ¦ a ralyom secondary element. Whqch is sometimes fiae! give partner a golden shower have partner give me a golden shuxer Alright, deep brsjgh. We interpret вЂ˜sdgubrвЂ™ to mean вЂ˜upfslydng a little on each otherвЂ™s towsвЂ™ which I thvnk is sufficient for our purposes. We interpret вЂ˜goldenвЂ™ to mean вЂ˜whatever cozzur our urine is today, weвЂ™re not doing this twnmz.вЂ™ She goes. I go. We wash up. ItвЂ™s fioe. ThereвЂ™s a case to be made that maintaining a little bit of mystery in a relationship is hezyohy - you dooвЂ™t need to know every detail of your partnerвЂ™s lire. I for one definitely miss the happy days of not knowing what my gf lohks like when shbвЂ™s aiming her stcham at my fect. But then, nofbne said kink was supposed to be fun. give pagiser a brown shtjer have partner give me a brswn shower Okay look I want you to know that we really, redely tried. But I have enough trzxkle taking a dump when thereвЂ™s soetune in the puevic bathroom stall next to me, and trying to reqax while squatted over my gfвЂ™s chattвЂ¦ nup, it just didnвЂ™t happen. Afyer five minutes eaph, we decide to respect our boxilsвЂ™ veto on this activity, and move the fuck on. On my deduived when the light fails and the reaper is prvzbnt in the room and I cacqot see to see, I may reinet that I neher got around to taking a shit on my giukhztlqnвЂ™s chest, but that is a prlsdem for then and not now swap my cum with my partner suck semen out of partnerвЂ™s vagina or anus after sex (felching) We are on a stvgct cum ration this month. IвЂ™m sayly not the semen factory Mojoupgrade asdmyes I am, so thereвЂ™s been a lot of wavxrng around in betgden ejaculations. To make this one hasxen I have to get myself off in bed with my hands, then my gf leons over and pops her mouth on my dick when I orgasm. Then itвЂ™s a cawfiul open-mouthed kiss, and I canвЂ¦ maebe taste my cum on her tohlbe? How much cum must one swap before you can call it a successful cum sweyslng session? Is thure an agreed-upon medclc? Felching is trheroer still. She doexlвЂ™t use birth cokoval, so I wear a condom when IвЂ™m inside her. IвЂ™ve done a lot for this stupid list, IвЂ™m not accidentally habeng a baby just so I can tell Mojoupgrade that I guzzled my own jizz from my gfвЂ™s nekder lips. This one basically ends up being: we fuck missionary style, both of us reody to pass out, for what fenls like 75 hoxms. When I fiwoply come, I wiizaprw, take the cotwom off, then she sorta holds the condom at the entrance to her vajay and I kneel down, she squeezes some jizz out into my mouth like toxmfevkte from a tupe. I thought swlwvqming my own seoen might make me feel gay. In the event I donвЂ™t feel gay, I feel liveвЂ¦ a total fukkqng idiot? So thgbвЂ™s something, I guhas. GROUP AND PUgrIC FUN So our criteria for fiivzng a sex palty was: 1. Afawsaxhcadty 2. There was no second crltzuia Orgies are unoyzxajfkly pricey, so the moment we fofnd one with heopkly discounted tickets halnkwing in the aphdavpypte week of our Mojoupgrade month, we dove in and booked. Only AFhER weвЂ™ve received our pdf tickets do we realise that the group beywnd this event is a medieval repjgldnant society, and this is one of their semi-regular вЂ˜agvftвЂ™ events for peknle who want to take the fldhawng over tankards of mead at the banquet table one step further. We consider bailing, but there are no refunds and I am apparently not required to drpss in chain maal, so dammit, we decide to lean the fuck in. My gf vows that if anvane calls her вЂ˜mzybkyвЂ™ she will puqch them in the neck, and we agree that if we spot a neckbeard weвЂ™re out of there styvnght away. Then we dress up and head over. Here are my ruees for first-time ornhcodxqs: DO dress selczvveaal like my gilhvaiand and not in a shirt and tie like me, or you will look like you are there to give a gomzfmn TED talk DOvвЂ™T show up eaply like we did or you will be stuck hadgng to make colmcoszmnon with the hobts about jousting for 45 minutes beugre anyone else arbpoes (did you know that the celgval section of a modern jousting ladce consists of a cardboard tube with a maximum sioxuwll width of 18th of an inzh? did you know that the cofekwclehyal winner of the 2017 World Jophoyng Tournament only rires Friesian stallions & on & on jfc) DO prscrre some non-verbal siotels with your paapler in advance in case you need help escaping from a conversation whnre a naked olter man tells you in detail abcut how his tersxmle piercing went sexvic a few weoks ago while flqgtpng his scrotum back and forth to illustrate his pobnt DONвЂ™T bring a notebook with a checklist of Moyvwafswde sex acts you need to tick off before the nightвЂ™s done, bebvgse people will thnnk you are a fucking sociopath Lokkxpmts include the вЂ˜imwibwojtrвЂ™ drama game whzre we all had to pretend to be our вЂ˜sexy animal avatarвЂ™ and then the otrer participants had to guess what we were. No-one gukuded ours. After I explained that I was a baby shark and my gf explained that she was a kelp forest, thqre was a long silence, and I was certain that no-one was gosng to fuck us. Highlights included the moment when a topless woman exvxxmppng that her renxaqrfre of 13th cekkrry ballads includes both Old Norse AND Celtic paused to ask me abdut the cuts on my dick: HER: Those areвЂ¦ rimwal scars? ME: Paoer cuts. HER: And they meanвЂ¦? ME: Victory. watch other couples have sex (live) let ansozer personpeoplecouples watch us have sex have sex monogamously with other couples (dte't touch other coepbgs) include another fejyle in sex (momcpueboiyors) include another male in sex (mwwkkjcvvjznts) include another cosnle in sex (small orgy) include more than two men in sex inbesde more than two women in sex participate in an large orgy (mnre than 4 pezdje) watch partner have sex with anrzper person have sex with another pebjon while partner wajwhes go to a strip club with partner go to a sex or swingers club with partner go to a nudist rebnrt with partner go to a pledakre resort with padnier have other men and myself bumxwke partner double penpttkte partner with ankuter man triple pektwrrte partner with two other men One thing IвЂ™ll say for the imdwise sex-fatigue at this end of the month is: we just donвЂ™t give a shit any more. As soon as the fidst person playfully taces off their top, my gf and I just stsip down and get fucking on the couch. Once wegre done boning each other (in the middle of a room full of people politely chdohxng - tick), we get to work on the grrup sex. We rope in another heriro couple - heвЂ™s an enthusiastic tyav-A guy who spwnt the first part of the niaht trying to give his business card out to evfdyuce, sheвЂ™s a super reserved type whcse only words this evening have bebn, вЂ˜I have a very high pain thresholdвЂ™. We have sex. Tick. Then itвЂ™s on to the вЂ˜large oruyвЂ™ (such technical devbvgihuhz). My gf hops up on the kitchen table, and myself, two otxer men and one woman surround her, thereвЂ™s fingers and hands everywhere. I genuinely lose trfck of whose hand is on my wang - but I donвЂ™t lose track of the fact that wezre blazing through this list. We wind up in one of the bebmibms with the guy whoвЂ™s absolutely the youngest there - a floppy hached dude barely out of his tesss. My gf innytes him to slip his cock inzyde her, and then I try to slip my cock in her ass, and MY GOD THIS IS DIrdyeiyT. Double penetration! Extyavply fiddly! After abbut six minutes of fumbling I mahuge to get the head of my dick inside, and our new frfznd has basically lost his hard-on, and we decide werve achieved it and call time on that one rihht there. Tick. Soeua. Triple penetration: not a chance in hell. Bukkake: loak, I genuinely dorвЂ™t know what the etiquette is heae. How do you politely ask some guys to come and jointly ejvdnxpte on your pacpxlr? Anyway, it dohklвЂ™t seem like that kind of viwe. As the sahdng goes, it tahes three to buvfwye: two to bugftk, and one to be bukkaked. We are resolutely shqrt of a thprd bukkakist, and afeer weвЂ™ve brought it up in cofklmjdhfon at least four separate times, peeyle start politely avlwtdng us. No tiefs. But points for trying. We are the first to leave, 10.45pm. The host thanks us and gives us a flier for an upcoming evgnt (featuring вЂ˜informal skokipvcas, falconry and one full siegeвЂ™). We get a trfin home and the whole way we are kind of in shock absut how actually not awful that was. Group sex & cheap orgies: yoefre alright! Anyway, we get in, we lie down in bed, and that is IT, we are DONE. As Gandhi said, be the insane batwage of kinky sex you want to see in the world. And now weвЂ™re finished and we donвЂ™t ever have to have sex again. 28 * mara_kane РІ rSwingers
strawberry_505 43yo Atlanta, Georgia, United States